			Spiritual Practice for Loss and Grief (continued)
			The words "I feel", spoken inwardly to yourself, can offer acknowledgement to your struggle and create a unity from which release can flow. For body-wide, diffuse feelings of grief, depression, or emotions that won't quite come to the surface (that heavy feeling), I’ve found lying down and holding an image or memory that evokes strong feelings has worked well to enable release. More on mental process: I’m convinced that blaming is an attempt to retain a sense of control. You may need to blame, but be aware that it is a form of denial. Your loss will still be there when you’ve figured out exactly who did what wrong. For your sake, please try to bypass blame. And please don’t torture yourself with “if only” thoughts. Spot them, acknowledge your rage, terror, grief with an “I feel” statement, do whatever it takes to stay with the fact of your loss and move one step towards healing. It can be liberating to actively seek the process of healing, to know that you are working to make it happen. Years ago when I was a Lamaze teacher of techniques for labor and birth, we used the image of waves to describe the intense muscle contractions of labor. As swimmers know, the water will support you if you relax and flow with it. Tension and resistance won't work. A sailor will tell you to head right into the waves in rough weather. For mothers giving birth and people who are grieving, relaxation and openness, good support, and mastery of simple skills can make the difference between drowning in pain and a calm voyage. Next...
Copyright © 2001 Jennie Knoop. All rights reserved. Revised: January 09, 2002